In our self-obsessed, celebrity-driven world, the term “narcissism” is frequently used to characterize someone who appears overly self-indulgent or conceited. But psychologically speaking, narcissism does not equate to genuine self-love. A more fair description would be that individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are enamored of an exaggerated, idealized version of themselves. And the reason they’re infatuated with this inflated version of themselves is that it keeps them from experiencing intense sensations of insecurity.
What is narcissistic personality disorder?
A pattern of conceited, haughty thinking and conduct, a lack of empathy and concern for other people, and an overwhelming need for adulation are all indicators of narcissistic personality disorder. People with NPD are frequently characterized by others as arrogant, cunning, self-centered, condescending, and demanding. The narcissist exhibits this way of thinking and acting in many spheres of their life, including friendships, employment, family, and romantic relationships.
People suffering from narcissistic personality disorder find it very difficult to modify their conduct, even if it is giving them difficulties. They often assign responsibility to other people. Furthermore, they take offense at even the smallest arguments, criticisms, or imagined slights since they consider them to be personal attacks. This makes them very sensitive. In order to avoid the narcissist’s coldness and rages, it is frequently easier for the people in their lives to just comply with their demands. But by learning more about narcissistic personality disorder, you’ll be able to identify narcissists in your life, defend yourself against their manipulations, and set up more sensible limits.
Signs and symptoms
Grandiosity /Exaggerated perception of one’s own importance
The distinguishing feature of narcissism is grandiosity. A false sense of superiority is what grandiosity is, more than just conceit or haughtiness. Narcissists think that only other special people can comprehend them because they are special or unique. Furthermore, they are too exceptional for anything commonplace or mediocre. All they want to do is hang around and be with other high-status individuals, locations, and objects.
In addition, narcissists think they’re superior to everyone else and want admiration for it, even when they’ve done nothing to merit it.
Lives in a fantastical realm that feeds their haughty illusions
Narcissists live in a dream world supported by deception, distortion, and magical thinking because truth contradicts their inflated self-perception. They create self-glorifying illusions that give them a sense of superiority and control, including boundless success, power, intelligence, beauty, and the perfect love. These delusions shield people from emotions of guilt and emptiness within, so they explain away or ignore facts and viewpoints that contradict them. People close to a narcissist learn to avoid them since anything that even slightly threatens their fantasy bubble will make them extremely defensive and even angry.
Requires continuous appreciation and respect
The arrogance of a narcissist is like a balloon that slowly deflates if it doesn’t receive constant praise and acknowledgment. The rare word of praise is insufficient. Because narcissists’ egos require ongoing fuel, they gravitate toward persons who will sate their compulsive need for validation. These connections are incredibly one-sided. It’s never about the narcissist helping the admirer; it’s always about the other way around. Furthermore, the narcissist views any disruption or decline in the admirer’s focus and appreciation as a betrayal.
Feeling of being entitled
Narcissists demand favorable treatment because they believe they are special. They genuinely think they should be able to have whatever they desire. They also think that everyone in their immediate vicinity would obediently fulfill all of their requests and whims. Their value is limited to that. You are useless if you don’t anticipate and satisfy all of their needs. And be ready for hostility, indignation, or the cold shoulder if you have the audacity to ask for something in return or to go against their wishes or act “selfishly.”
Abuses others without feeling sorry or ashamed
Narcissists are incapable of empathizing with others’ emotions or learning to walk in their shoes. Stated differently, they are insensitive. They see the people in their lives as things, there to fulfill their demands, in various ways. They therefore don’t hesitate to use others as a means to further their own agendas. This interpersonal exploitation is frequently ignorant, but it can also be malevolent. Narcissists just don’t consider the consequences of their actions for other people. Even if you make it clear to them, they won’t really understand. They just comprehend what is necessary for them.
Regularly humiliates, threatens, abuses, or disparages other people
Every time they come across someone who seems to have something they don’t, especially someone who is popular and self-assured, narcissists feel threatened. People who challenge them in any way or who don’t bow to them likewise pose a threat to them. They use scorn as a coping method. Putting such people down is the only way to counter the threat and boost their own flagging egos. They could act in a condescending or contemptuous manner, perhaps to highlight how little the other person matters to them. Alternatively, they might launch an offensive using threats, name-calling, intimidation, and insults to get the other person to stop.
Causes
The precise reason is unknown. Like the majority of mental and personality problems, there is probably a complex interplay of elements at play here, such as:
- DNA. Family members with NPD are more likely to also have the disorder.
- Surroundings, such as parent-child dynamics. Youngsters frequently copy the actions they see in their parents. In addition to encouraging bad habits, overly protective parenting can also result in NPD.
- Neurobiology, or the relationship between the neurological system and behavior. According to research, there might be subtle structural variations in the brains of those who have NPD.
- Customs. People who grow up in societies that value personal freedom appear to be more likely to suffer from NPD. People who live in societies that emphasize the value of community are less likely to be affected by the condition.
Consider the following advice if you are interacting with a narcissist:
Avoid Reacting
Narcissists rely on your feelings and responses. Although it can be simple to respond in a way that highlights your surprise, rage, or hurt, doing so will simply serve to energise the narcissist. Rather, make an effort to keep your attention on the current circumstance and avoid making any assumptions. You deny the narcissist the chance to control the conversation by consistently returning the discourse to the main topic.
Aim to Steer Clear of Direct Conflict
Narcissists are sensitive to criticism of any form, as was previously said. Criticizing the narcissist is rarely beneficial. They might even become enraged over this. If you must provide criticism, attempt to phrase it similarly to how you would a compliment.
Stress That Results Are More Important Than Promises
It’s easy for narcissists to fantasize about the future and never fulfill their commitments. You must confront dishonesty if you wish to hold a narcissist accountable. It’s crucial to refuse to grant any of their requests until they return the favor.
Uphold Delimitations
Narcissists are prone to stepping over lines. They can cross others’ boundaries, but they put their own first. Setting and firmly upholding boundaries with this person is crucial. It could be helpful to clearly state what you will and won’t tolerate in this person’s relationship. It might not always be easy, but you should always advocate for yourself.
Keep in Mind That You Are Not at Fault
When things don’t go their way, a narcissist might blame you. You might also wish to restrict the amount of responsibility you bear in their lives in addition to your boundaries. Refuse to accept blame if it is placed on you.
Refuse to Put Up With Their Behavior
Narcissists are usually conscious of their emotional damage to others. Although others may not find their behavior normal, it is normal to them. You could feel compelled to discreetly draw attention to their undesirable actions. Because they prefer not to be perceived negatively, narcissists are able to modify their conduct.
Treatment
There are the following treatment which are most effective for
Psychotherapies
These are effective therapies
Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT)
Identifying and substituting problematic thought and behavior patterns is the main goal of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Your therapist will help you practice these new abilities. In order to practice these abilities in between sessions, you will also be given homework projects.
Schema-oriented treatment
One integrated method of therapy is schema therapy. It incorporates aspects of both CBT and psychotherapy.
The goal is to assist you in recognizing and comprehending maladaptive tendencies and coping strategies that resulted from early life events, according to Trusted Source. You can learn to change these maladaptive paradigms once you identify them.
Gestalt psychotherapy
One type of psychotherapy is called gestalt therapy. You’ll pay more attention to the here and now than to the past or the future. Experiences from your past are taken into account in relation to their impact on you now.
You’ll be inspired to consider your current circumstances. You’ll focus on enhancing your sense of self-awareness and accountability.
Therapy based on mentalization (MBT)
MBT aims to enhance your capacity for self-reflection as well as empathy for the feelings and ideas of others. You will next discover how emotions and behavioral patterns are related.
You’ll investigate the motivations behind other people’s actions and practice considering situations thoroughly before acting.
Psychotherapy with a focus on transference (TFP)
When you participate in TFP, you channel your feelings toward the therapist regarding another person. This could facilitate discussions about the situation. Your therapist can assist you in understanding your feelings and thoughts.
Behavior therapy using dialectic (DBT)
DBT is a type of CBT that emphasizes the following areas:
- Interpersonal effectiveness (relationship skills),
- distress tolerance,
- emotion management,
- and mindfulness
medications /Drugs used to treat NPD
Although there are no drugs specifically for NPD, there are some that can be used to treat the symptoms of related disorders like sadness or anxiety. The following are a few drugs that may lessen the symptoms of disorders linked to NPD:
- Drugs that fight depression.
- Anxiolytics are anti-anxiety drugs.
- Antipsychotic drugs.
- Anticonvulsant drugs: these are primarily used to treat seizures, while some, like lamotrigine, can also help with mood stabilization.
